Well, the time has come. My baby girl is heading off to kindergarten on Monday. Ugh! I think I am ready, but am I really? Nope, probably not. Will there be tears shed? Yep, probably will be.
I decided to look back on pictures tonight for this post. Hard to pick the ones I wanted to use and it also brought back a flood of memories of my little peanut. Yes, she did have straight hair at one point. And yes, she has always had an attitude!
The five lucky years I got to spend with her were awesome. I am so glad I have got to see all her milestones and then some. Yes, there were some days she tested me to the limit, (and still does) but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I thank Kevin for letting me stay home. I couldn’t imagine it any different than it was. I don’t regret sacrificing the last seven years to be home with my kids. It will be memories that we will have forever.
I am very proud of my little peanut. I can’t wait to see how her first year at school goes. She says she is nervous but I know she is going to do great! I worry a little about her bladder issues and pray she doesn’t regress, but if she does, we will deal with it. I pray that her first year goes so much better than Jayden’s. I pray she makes friends easy and is nice to all her friends. I pray she stays true to herself and makes her mommy proud!
So what is the beyond part? That involves myself! I decided since both kids were in school that I wanted to go back to work. I thought at first that I didn’t want to do anything with kids. Haha, that didn’t last long. I applied for a job at the kids’ school I wanted really, really bad, but that didn’t work out. Yes, I was super bummed, but I decided to look into a couple more at different schools. I went in to interview for a position and walked out having the opportunity to choose between four different ones! I was happy, but it was very overwhelming! I didn’t know what one I wanted to go with and I wanted to make sure it was the right fit for my family.
During all of this last week, I had found out about someone I know past away. She was a preschool mom I had gotten to know this last school year. A great mom of two, young, full of life. This hurt me in many ways! I feel for that family and pray that God is watching over them and that the girls have the love and support they need to deal with their mom not being here anymore. I had just ran into this mom a couple weeks before at a local establishment. We chatted for a long time about what we were going to do when the kids went to school. She was really excited about a job she applied for, which she ended up accepting! She was happy and seemed fine. Life is just not fair!
With this happening, and four different jobs to choose from, I was super emotional! I cried a lot! I was scared to make the wrong decision, but I went with my gut. I decided that I wasn’t ready to not be there for my kids. I still want to be able to help out in their classrooms. I want to help them until they say they don’t need me anymore. Life is too short!! I want to enjoy my kids and still be there for them. So, I chose the job that gave me four hours a day, all morning hours. And I can still help out in their rooms/school! WAH-HOO!
Now, as I look on to the week coming up, I have all sorts of emotions. Am I ready to commit to something? Am I ready to answer to someone? Am I confident I can do the job? Did I make the right decision? Should I have waited a while and just see how the next couple months would go at home? Am I going to fit in? Will people like me? Will I screw up? Will I like the job? Eeek! Lots of questions.
I have to tell myself that I am ready for a change. I’m ready to work again. I’m ready to help kids again. I’m ready to be out with other adults! Wow, that’s a concept! Adult conversation! Who knew it existed. I think I am ready to walk into the school and hopefully everything falls in to place. I still don’t know my duties, which scares me. Looks like I will be thrown in to things! But that’s okay! I hope I can fit in with the other associates. I am the only new one so I have to find my place in the group!
Now, Josie, oh my Josie. These years went way to fast. I cannot believe you will be in kindergarten! I know you will do great! I can’t believe it was a year ago I was writing a post about Jayden, typing and crying at the same time! I am doing it all over again! Doesn’t seem right that it’s your turn now. I love you with all my heart and I can’t wait to see you spread your wings and fly. I hope I have taught you well and given you the confidence to navigate this world. I can’t wait to watch you grow and learn. Do the best you can. Be the best you can. And have fun doing it! I am pretty sure I will be crying on Monday. I promise to try and hold back the tears until I leave your classroom. Can’t promise much as I have been super emotional lately! We will make it! I love you, Peanut!
Change is a good thing. And there is a lot of change in our house! Hopefully it doesn’t take us long to adjust! I’m excited, nervous, and anxious for all that is to come this year. I hope we are on to great and better things!
LIFE IS GOOD!