In about a month and a half, I am going to have to send my first born off to Kindergarten! Am I excited? For the most part, yes I am. Am I scared? Yes, A little part of me is.
After I gave birth to Jayden and decided to stay home, it changed my life forever. Not only for the fact that my adult conversation was not happening, but also I suffered from post partum depression. I didn’t have a severe case, but I had a case big enough to change who I am today. Being in a dark hole is not fun. You just feel like the world is falling in on you. Then you snap to it and realize you have a tiny baby that is counting on you. Jayden’s first year of life was rough on me, but he was an awesome baby.
I will never regret staying at home. Yes, there were times that I just wanted to scream and leave the house. Got to like the hand-off at 5:30 to your husband and say, “He’s yours now.” I liked being at home, but I missed my work. I liked being at home because I got to see every little new thing he learned. I will never forget that. I loved all the fun things we got to do together: napping, reading, playing with tractors, watching tv, enjoying the outdoors, or doing crafts!
Jayden has always been an easy going kid. Doesn’t take much to entertain him, yet he likes to be busy. He has a gentle heart and a gentle spirit. Yes, he has his moments of trouble and being naughty.
Under my wing he has been many things. Safe and secure. Strong and week. Happy and sad. Shy and talkative. Brave and scared. Under my wing he has learned to be the best boy he can be. He has learned to treat his friends with kindness and respect, just they way he would want to be treated. He has learned to be social and loving and caring. He has learned to protect the values he comes from and knows right from wrong. Under my wing, I raised a boy that I am proud to call mine.
Now in a month and a half, when I walk into that school and let him out from under my wing, I hope he holds high all the things I have taught him. I pray he does his best, treats his friends with kindness. And in return, I hope his friends do the same. Kids can be mean, I just hope my tendered hearted boy can stand up for himself and be that little man I know he is! And when I walk away form him that day, I hope he doesn’t see the tear in my eye as I will miss hanging out with him everyday.