Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Half Full or Half Empty?

Josie and Kacie

People ask,  are you a half full or half empty kind of person?  I think I am both.  When I go to a restaurant my glass is always half full, but when it comes to life, it’s half empty.  This week has started off very trying on me and my family.  My niece, who is the older one in the picture was in an accident that left her with some head trauma.  It was a VERY scary, eventful Sunday night, but she is going strong!  I, of course, have had plenty of time sitting in the hospital in the the last 48 hours to think about life. 

I am a half empty kind of girl because it seems, my family has a curse.  Something bad seems to happen more often than something good.  We have been through many, many, many trying times.  We have made our rounds in enough hospitals.  There is always someone we have to worry about.  Now, the question is, why us?  Why does God put us through these trying time?  It brings our family together, in waiting rooms way too much! You may ask, “What has been so bad that you can’t handle it?”  Well the list is long and it’s all legit.  I don’t feel I need to go into an explanation.  Just know that it’s a LONG list.

It makes it hard to believe in God, when a person has had so many different things happen to them, that makes them feel like God is giving up.  You can pray and pray, go on with life and BAM another thing happens.  This is very hard on me and I don’t understand why things always have to happen. I know that things happen for a reason, but I find no reason in this!  She did not deserve this.  We, as a family, did not deserve this.  Pick on someone else, please. You can believe in God all you want, but right now, I’m having my doubts.  I never was a strong believer and have had my doubts and questions. When all the bad happens, I don’t feel he’s watching out for us.

You  know how often it happens?  It’s so bad sometimes, that I am scared to answer the phone when a family member is calling.  I think it’s going to be bad news every time.  I hate that feeling, but it’s true.  I’m scared, because the bad haunts us.

I think back to my old post about the little girl out in Idaho that I was following.  And I said, you just never know when something will happen.  Well, God, I did not mean for you to make this happen!   I would like to wrap my whole family into a bubble and say leave us alone! 

The good thing is, she is going to pull out of this situation.  The bad thing is, it’s going to take time.  I ask you one thing, God, if you are listening, to bring back the Kacie we know!  She has a special little place in my heart because we are very close.  I need my Brat #2!

So, in the end, the only time I see life half full is at a restaurant when my Mountain Dew is getting low :)

I could vent more about this, but I will leave it at that for now.  Come on Kacie Ann!  We love you!

1 comment:

  1. Kim, I'm sorry you've had to go through so much throughout your young life. I hope that the rest of your life turns into more happy, joyful moments and less trying, sad ones. As for God, I do believe, but I know there are many times where I don't understand at all. Hang in there, and know that there are many people thinking of, praying for, and sending good vibes to your niece.
    One positive story, a relative of mine had a major head injury (here story was followed on the front page of the Des Moines Register throughout her recovery). She wasn't expected to even survive and with time and a lot of physical therapy, she relearned to how to walk, talk, and got back to her normal self. She even graduated high school with her class. I have no idea what your niece's condition is, but I thought I'd share this story because it reminded me of how far the medical community has come along and how much hope there is now for people with tramatic brain injuries.
    Sending love and hugs your way!